It’s the end of the day, and you are all tucked up in bed.
The craziness of the day has now passed us by.
A sense of calm and peace has come over us both.
And as you lay there, so peacefully, I realize just how much you have grown.
Your face has changed.
It is more defined.
You no longer look tiny in your bed.
It Is Like You Have Grown In A Blink Of An Eye.
Part of me is excited to see you grow into the person you are becoming.
I know how much greatness is ahead of you.
But I am also scared.
Scared of how quickly you are growing.
Scared of how time seems to be racing us by and I can’t slow it down.
It makes me question if I am enjoying you enough?
Am I giving you everything that you need?
Am I preparing you enough for the amazing life ahead of you?
I Try To Do My Best. But, I Know I Am Not Always As Good As I Want To Be At Being Your Mama.
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I have every intention of being great, good, and grand.
Some days I get it, and some days I don’t.
Some days I feel like I am doing an amazing job, and some days all I can manage is okay.
I know every day I make mistakes.
There are times when you need my attention and I am ‘too busy’ to give it to you.
There are times when I snap and all you needed was a little love.
There are times you want me to come and play with you but I am too tired.
There are times when I put things before you and I know that.
I wish that I didn’t.
I watch myself do it, and later I beat myself up over it.
I promise myself that I will try harder tomorrow.
I know I don’t always get it right.
You Don’t Always Get The Best Of Me.
I get tired.
I get stressed.
I get scared.
I get overwhelmed.
I get lost in my own struggles.
I wish I didn’t, but sometimes I do.
Some days I forget to slow down. I forget to relax. I forget to just enjoy you. I forget to relish in your littleness.
I Am Trying To Do Better.
Some days I struggle with my own demons.
I struggle to find me.
Struggle to find peace in the person I am and the person I am becoming.
It turns out as adults we don’t always have it figured out. I am trying to do better.
Some days I don’t make the right decisions for us.
I listen to the wrong advice.
I question myself.
I don’t trust my instincts.
I am trying to do better.
I know every day I make mistakes.
And every day I am trying to do better.
But my sweet child here is the thing.
There are days that are hard.
Days I don’t get it right.
But, being your mama is the most amazing and rewarding experience I could have ever imagined.
When I look at you I am so incredibly grateful to have you in my life.
So grateful to call you my child.
Even Though There Are Hard Days, You Make Me Want To Show Up Each Day And Try My Best.
You make me want to grow from my mistakes.
You make me want to be the best person I can be.
You make me want to make you proud to call me your mama.
You, my sweet child, make me want to try my best.
I hope when you look back on your childhood, that you don’t see a perfect mama.
I hope when you will look back, that my weakness teaches you something.
That you’ll know that it is ok to make mistakes. I want you to know that our mistakes help us to learn.
To grow into a better person.
I Hope That You See Me, With All My Flaws, And Know That I Still Showed Up Every Day And Did My Best.
That I embraced my mistakes and tried to learn from them.
That I showed up and tried even when I was tired, even when I was stressed, even when I wasn’t sure what I was doing.
That every day I tried.
That every day I tried to be better for you.
That I tried to be better because of you.
That I tried because I love you, forever and always.
And if you loved this encouraging #momlife post, you’ll want to read these:
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- To My Child: I hope I have Loved You Enough Today
- To Every Exhausted Mama Out There, You Are Enough
- Four Words My Husband Spoke To Me That Changed Everything
- Dear Mama, Keep Doing The Things No One Sees
- The Mama With The ‘Wild Child’ Is Trying Harder Than You Think
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