Mom, I Never Understood Why Sometimes Your Hugs Lasted That Little Bit Longer, I Do Now
There is so much I didn’t understand back then, but now I do.
I never understood why sometimes you would look at me for the longest time.
Now I know, you were wanting time to stand still.
I never understood why sometimes you would sit with your head in your hands.
Now I understand, you were hiding your tears.
I never understood why you always told me I could do anything.
Now I do, you were the first person who believed in me.
I never understood why I missed you for what felt like days.
Now I understand, you were working around the clock just to keep us afloat.
I never understood why when I was hurt I only wanted you.
Now I do, you’re the safest place I’ve ever known.
I never understood why in so many photos your dressy outfit was always the same.
Now I know, because ours were always different.
I never understood why you cried on my first overseas trip alone.
Now I know, I was yours but never yours to keep.
I never understood why you stayed up at night waiting for me to come home.
Now I know, the worry never stops.
I never understood why you would say, “one day you’ll see”.
I see now, you only wanted what was best for me.
I never understood why sometimes your hugs lasted that little bit longer.
Now I know, you needed one more than me.
I didn’t understand so much back then, but now I do.
I love you.
I understand everything now.
This post was written by Jess Urlichs from Jess Urlichs. For more of her work, follow her on Facebook and Instagram.
And if you loved this #momlife post, you’ll want to read these:
- Dear Firstborn, It Was You That Made Me A Mother
- Right Now, I’m A Bit More Mommy Than I Am Anything Else And That’s Ok
- To My Child: I hope I have Loved You Enough Today
- To My Child: I Hope You Will Remember That Mommy Tried
- Dear Mama, Keep Doing The Things No One Sees
- To My Son: It’s OK To Be A Mama’s Boy
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Jess Urlichs is a poet and children’s book author based in New Zealand. Jess found a passion in the depths of postpartum for writing and sharing the highs and lows on early motherhood. In turn Jess published an early motherhood poetry collection which has sold over 50,000 copies worldwide and created a beautiful and honest community on Instagram and Facebook of like minded mums who are here for the messy beautiful truth of motherhood.
Jess’s books can be found here: jessicaurlichs.com/shop