Dear Mama, Stop Doubting If You Are A ‘Good Mom’
I was having a candid conversation with a friend and she mentioned she didn’t feel as though she was a ‘good mom’.
At the time I told her what she really needed to hear, that she was doing an amazing job.
That motherhood is hard.
That none of us are perfect and that we all struggle. That we all are just doing the best we can.
It was all true.
But I Know She Still Left Our Conversation Doubting Herself.
It broke my heart.
It broke my heart because it has been so ingrained in us that we have to fill this notion of being a ‘good mom’. And if we fail to fulfil our ideal of what a ‘good mom’ is, then we assume that we must a ‘bad mom’.
Here is the real kicker, we are all striving to be a ‘good mom’ and beating ourselves up when we feel we aren’t.
Does Anyone Really Know What A ‘Good Mom’ Even Looks Like?
To be a ‘good mom’ do I need to breastfeed my babies?
How long for? For 3 years, for 3 months or for 3 days? What if I supplement with donated breast milk or formula? What if I only bottle feed?
Where is the line drawn between a ‘good mom’ and a ‘bad mom’?
To be a ‘good mom’ do I need to dress my children in the latest fashion?
Do they have to always look impeccable? Do I need to always look impeccable? What if I don’t wear makeup? What if I miss getting my hair done? What if we dress for comfort? What if we dress for sustainability?
Where is the line drawn between a ‘good mom’ and a ‘bad mom’?
To be a ‘good mom’ do I need to stay at home with my children?
What if I have to work to support my children? What if I choose to work? What if working means my children need to be cared for by family? What if it means they go into daycare? How many days? 1 day, 2 days or for 5 days? What if I don’t work and my children still go to daycare?
Where Is The Line Drawn Between A ‘Good Mom’ And A ‘Bad Mom’?
To be a ‘good mom’ do I need to speak calmly to my children and keep my cool when I get frustrated?
What if sometimes I lose my cool? What if sometimes I let my children watch their iPad just so I can take a break? What if sometimes I just can’t wait for bedtime?
Where is the line drawn between a ‘good mom’ and a ‘bad mom’?
The Truth Is, There Are No Perfect Moms.
We all make decisions that best suit our family.
We all have our good days, bad days, overwhelming days, too tired days, I’m awesome days, and I can’t go on days.
We Need To Stop Comparing Our Motherhood Journey To That Of Other Moms.
Stop trying to beat ourselves up over ideals that are unrealistic.
Ideals that don’t fit in with our beliefs.
We need to stop the mom guilt for the days we don’t live up to our own standards.
We need to stop doubting if we are a ‘good mom’.
You See Dear Mama, What Really Matters Is That Each Day You Show Up.
What really matters is that you are trying your best.
What really matters that you love your children and what really matters is that they know how loved they truly are.
And if you loved this encouraging #momlife post, you’ll want to read these:
- Being A SAHM Is Lonelier And More Overwhelming Than People Imagine
- To My Child: I hope I have Loved You Enough Today
- To My Child: I Hope You Will Remember That Mommy Tried
- Four Words My Husband Spoke To Me That Changed Everything
- Dear Mama, Keep Doing The Things No One Sees
- The Mama With The ‘Wild Child’ Is Trying Harder Than You Think
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